Wednesday, June 13, 2012

the fish in our family


i went to utah for like a minute a couple months ago, leaving the boys home with darek,
and when i got back we had three new members of the family

fish number one
fish number two
and fish number three

atticus informed me immediately that fish number one was his,
fish number two was beckett's and fish number three was kennedy's


well, as is wont to happen with goldfish, the first twelve hours in the mccoy household killed fish number one
and the second twelve hours in the mccoy household killed fish number two
suddenly atticus rethought the situation and decided that fish number three actually belonged to him
sorry beck, sorry kennedy - no fish for you

as is also wont to happen with goldfish residing in the house, atticus was really excited and loved his fishy
and wanted to constantly feed it and talk to it and sing to it and help change it's water
for about twenty four hours
until he moved on to his next fascination
fishy forgotten

so who, i ask you, is now responsible for fish number three?

this, my friends, is why we do not own a dog, or a cat, or a hippopotamus or a giraffe
because then i would just have one more critter to take care of

and heaven help me if i haven't been trying to kill ole fish number three for weeks now
i change his water only when people will be at our house, which means he's swimming in a swamp most of the time
(although i do admit, his clean pretty bowl and little fishiness do look really cute on my plant shelf in the window)
he gulps and gulps and gulps to get oxygen thru his poor suffocated gills the one time a week i feel charitable enough to change his water
not to mention the week i starved him when we ran out of food and i figured his days were numbered anyway
and it wasn't worth a trip to the pet shop for a $1.39 canister of fish food
but then i felt sorry for starving the guy so again instead of simply making a trip to the store
i did ridiculous things like crumbling bread into his bowl, crunch chips into his water and offering him ritz crackers
but since he's a fish and not a duck none of this worked
 and yet he lived

i even conveniently pretended to not have realized that placing his bowl in my sunny plant window
could very well have boiled the poor sucker up for supper

so finally i bought him some food
and changed his water
and decided to call him my own

now i'm going to be real sad if he dies


Crazy Lady said...

ah now the chips in the water is pretty dang funny

An Ordinary Mom said...

You rock :) !!

becky said...

lol. totally relate. We have 2 cats and 2 hermit crabs. The last 2 days I have been taking care of the crabs and the girls haven't even gone to check on them.....they are in Brysban's room. The cats you can't forget as they will meow at you till you feed them. I think every mom ends up taking care of the animals at one point or another.