Tuesday, July 27, 2010

My chi’s all amuck
...
so remember that time a few months ago when i recounted the story of the magazine sales-chick waltzing into my apartment, charming me with her your-kids-are-so-cute act, and selling me a subscription to yoga journal all before i could say "om"? well, weeks passed, then months passed and no yoga journal. bamboozled! i was just about to get my panies all in a bunch when tada!
enter yoga journal!
.
shall we all chant in celebration?
“OOOOOOMMMMMMM!”
...
‘tis true, my friends, that i could use me some good yoga practice right about now.
my chi’s all amuck, my zen, my yin, my yang, my this, my that, i’m a frazzled mess!
mind chatter clutters my brain which makes it difficult for me to be fully present in my life, enjoy the process instead of just feeling impatient for the result. not to mention my posture – i’ve been all “pregnant for like a year, then nursed a baby for like a year, then pregnant again for like a year and now nursing another baby…etc” and my body’s feeling it!
.
so I’ve been doing me some reading
and perhaps a little yoga-ing
and this is what I’ve come up with
.
upeksha
aka – equanimity
basically this means
staying balanced and grounded
acting instead of reacting
taking responsibility for the things within your control
and letting go of the rest
.
doesn’t that sound nice?
let’s practice it, shall we?
...
there’s a little story in the blessed yoga journal that illustrates it well:
“a farmer’s most valuable asset is the one horse he owns. one day it runs away. all the townspeople commiserate with him, ‘oh, what terrible luck! you’ve fallen into poverty now, with no way to pull the plow or move your goods!’ the farmer merely responds, ‘I don’t know if it’s unfortunate or not; all I know is that my horse is gone.’
a few days later, the horse returns and following it are six more horses. the townspeople say, ‘oh! you’ve struck it rich! now you have seven horses to your name!’ again, the farmer says, ‘i don’t know if i’m fortunate or not; all i can say is that i now have seven horses in my stable.’
a few days later, while the farmer’s son is trying to break in one of the wild stallions, he’s thrown from the horse and is injured. all the townspeople bemoan his fate: ‘oh, how terrible! your son is badly injured and cannot help you with your harvest! what a misfortune!’ the farmer responds, ‘i don’t know if it’s a misfortune or not; i only know that my son has been injured.’
less than a week later, the army sweeps through town, conscripting all the young men to fight in a war…all except for the farmer’s son, who is unable to fight because of his injury.”

...
The article continues by saying:
"the fact is, you can’t know what changes your life will bring or what the ultimate consequences will be…in this radical acceptance (equanimity) lies peace and freedom – right there in the midst of whatever pleasant or unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in. when we open to the truth that there is actually very little we can control other than our own reactions to circumstances, we learn to let go.
...
i vaguely remembering being good at this kind of stuff in my former life as a therapist, pre-motherhood. something about resistance –> bad, acceptance –> good. i used to actually get paid for this stuff. now it’s like a dusty bookshelf in the back of my sleep deprived mind.
.
it’s time to
let go
move on
just be
.
*exhale*
.good night.

1 comment:

Nikki said...

Liked this. How nice to "Just be" and know that all will be well.