Friday, October 23, 2009

i'm a "blond" and i'm a "girl"

*just for the record, i was going to post yesterday about how it was an incredible 70 degree blue skies fall day here in the great bay state and how i wore shorts and a short sleeved shirt to the park and then i was going to tell all you LV/LA/AZ peeps to "take that! HA!" but now that it's 40 degrees today and i'm freezing and hating it, i'm feeling quite relieved that i didn't get all blog braggy yesterday about the weather...

but, that's not what this post is about.

**it also not about how i'm eating heaping spoonfuls of cookie dough right now...although this is a true statement, in case we're playing truth or dare.

but it is about last night.

and about how in a ten minutes period of time my husband said the following two statements to me:

"you're being such a blond right now."
"you're being such a girl right now."

now please don't misunderstand. my husband's a cool dude and was by no means being a meanie. he digs that i'm a blond (or at least that my stylist attempts to make me blond every six months or so when i finally decide to get my nasty roots done) and he digs (obviously) that i'm a girl - duh. so these statements were said not because he's a smarty pants boy, but because maybe i deserved it a little. least the first one i did. i admit, every now and then i have blond moments. just totally out of the blue. so unexpected. sort of airheady. it's nice to be pregnant because then i have the "pregnancy brain deterioration" excuse, but for the large majority of my life that i spend unpregnant, yes - these mysterious blond moments occur. no excuse, only truth.

anyway - i won't try to recreate last night's blonditity but it did involve me driving up to the parking machine to pay my ticket to get out of the parking garage and the machine telling me to insert my debit card "stripe side up" and me thinking it kept telling me to "drive right up" and i was so confused because i had already driven right up and i wanted my next instruction on how to pay my parking ticket and darek repeating to me over and over that it was telling me to insert my card "stripe side up" and me repeating to him over and over that i did "drive right up" and finally a garage worker guy coming over to my window to ask me if i needed help at which point said garage worker took my debit card from my hand and inserted it "stripe side up" like the machine kept telling me to - and then i got it! see what i mean? i worked hard for that blond moment even if i am only a highlighted with nasty roots blond these days.

but - on the second account, that of "being a girl" (ie - prissy, can't drive well-type girl) i do have to take a bit of umbridge. i'm not one for publishing my own brag list but i must say that "being a good driver" is on my brag list! i'm a good driver! and darek knows it. and not so deep down inside he's real grateful i am. especially since although this lovely bay state is lovely, it's also home to all the worst drivers in all these states united. like if you're a bad driver your punishment is to move to boston to dwell with all other bad drivers. so i won't relate the story of me backing up the car to park and sort of driving up onto the sidewalk, because it was a total fluke and i certainly don't "drive like a girl!" and honestly it could have happened to anyone.

all my sincerest apologies to all you out there, girls and guys alike, who do indeed "drive like a girl." i'm sure you have other worthy qualities to add to your own personal brag list. and sorry to all you femenists out there who take offense to the gender stereotype - my advice: take it up with all the bad girl drivers out there who work so hard to earn us that stereotype.

so anywho - that's my story and that's what this post is about.
the end


allegra said...

ok seriously your posts crack me up. i loved this. maybe because i act so "blond" and "girly" all too often, and it's only escalated with pregnancy!!

Rachel said...

Just got your blog from Matt...and when I ready this I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Seriously, best read of the week!
Thanks again for an awesome dinner. We had such a good time. You are good people.
PS: You should probably post your soup and salad recipe on here...cause I want it!

Keleigh, Cecilia and Family said...

is driving like a girl anything like the run like a girl marathon? and everyone is entitled to misplace their brains on frequent occasions.

theleguis said...

youare seriously hilarious. i love your take on mothering! but thank you for the disclaimer. i do drive horribly "like a girl" I tell my hhusband that i have other talents all the time when i am criticized for my poor driving skills! (its not our fault though we are just not programmed to understand our relation ship in space with other things!)
congrats on the pregnancy!